Parenting a toddler is a unique experience — at once incredible and challenging. By age two and three, they are oozing curiosity, feelings, and emerging independence. It’s a thrilling time, but one that can leave parents scratching their heads as to how they can best guide and nurture their little ones.
Positive parenting is a model that considers the emotional aspect of development, facilitating toddlers' growth in this important stage of development. In this guide, we’ll look at practical parenting tips with an eye to making the toddler years a period of growth — for both you and your child.
Getting to Know Your Toddler Stage
One of the most fundamental qualities of toddlers is their love for exploration. They’re absorbing everything in their surroundings, pushing boundaries, and discovering their voice — both literally and figuratively. There are important developmental milestones in this stage including:
- A language explosion: Your toddler is beginning to put together sentences and express themselves more.
- Big feelings: Emotions can go from giggles to tears in seconds, usually because they don’t yet have the tools to regulate how they feel.
- A bottomless curiosity: Exploring, climbing, and wondering “why?” all belong to their new need to understand the world.
- Increasing autonomy: Get ready for a lot of “I do it myself!” moments, norms as they learn to assert themselves.
These milestones can help you understand and support your toddler’s needs and how to respond with patience and compassion. Similarly, if you’re looking for ideas for creative activities that promote your toddler’s development, check out UNICEF’s guide to learning activities for young children.
1. Connection Before Correction
The foundation of positive parenting. When your toddler feels safe and connected to you, they’re more likely to cooperate and flourish.
- Dedicate quality time together: Reading, playing, or even just discussing with your toddler will tighten the bond.
- Practice active listening: Whenever your child talks, kneel down to their level, engage in eye contact, and care about what they have to say.
- Provide lots of affection: Hugs, cuddles, and holding hands give reassurance and make your child feel loved.
Connecting doesn’t mean giving in to every request — it’s about creating an atmosphere in which your child feels heard and valued.
2. Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries
Toddlers thrive when they know what is expected of them. This way, there will be less confusion and/or less time frustrated because they do not understand what to do.
- Be specific: When you tell them to “Be good,” for example, give them something concrete: “Please keep your toys in the playroom.”
- Elevate comprehension by avoiding technical jargon.
- Be consistent: If a rule is applicable today, make sure to abide by it tomorrow. If you’re being inconsistent, your child may feel uncertain about what’s acceptable and what’s not.
When you have clear and predictable boundaries, your toddler is more likely to comply without much fighting.
3. Try Positive Reinforcement
Encouraging good behavior is more effective than punishing bad behavior. Positive reinforcement motivates your toddler to do things that make you proud again.
- Praise specific efforts: Trade the generic phrases — such as “Good job” — for something like, “You did a good job putting your toys away!”
- Offer small rewards: A sticker, a special snack, a few extra minutes of playtime can motivate your child.
- Celebrate efforts, not just results: Valuing their effort, even when things don’t go perfectly, fosters confidence and resilience.
This method encourages a child to feel rewarded for doing the right thing and boosts your child’s sense of accomplishment and pride. Read more about this topic how toys can inspire purposeful play
4. Help Your Toddler Handle Big Feelings
Toddlers are full of feelings but don’t understand what to do with them yet. Teaching techniques to help handle these emotions in a healthy manner is part of positive parenting.
- Name their feelings: Saying “I can see you’re frustrated because we can’t go outside right now” helps them connect the dots of what they’re feeling.
- Be calm yourself: Your toddler will watch how you react, so keeping it together during a tantrum teaches her to regulate her own feelings.
- Teach coping tools: These simple strategies can help when your child is upset: Use deep breathing, count to five, or hug a stuffed animal.
Gradually these help your child deal with difficulties more confidently.
5. Guide Instead of Saying “No”
Hearing “No” so many times can frustrate your toddler. Instead, try to guide their behavior in a way that doesn’t seem as controlling.
- Provide alternatives: If your child is drawn to draw on the walls, calmly say, “Let’s use paper to draw,” instead.
- Tell them your reasons: Such as, “We can’t touch the stove because it’s hot and could hurt you.”
- Redirect their focus: If your child is doing the tantrum of the century, try redirecting their focus elsewhere by introducing a favorite toy or activity.
Taking this route is showing respect for your child and entices them to make better decisions themselves.
6. Set an Example
Toddlers learn by following your lead. They learn more from what you do than anything you can tell them.
- Be kind and empathetic: It’s the golden rule, treat others how you wish your child would treat people.
- Model patience: When you remain calm in stressful moments, your child learns to do so, too.
- Apologize when you need to: “I’m sorry” goes a long way in showing accountability and that making mistakes is fine.
Being the behavior you want to see sets a strong example for your toddler.
In Conclusion
Raising a toddler can be challenging, but it is also a time of incredible growth and connection. And with a focus on building positive parenting skills, you can foster your child’s emotional development, instill important life lessons, and form an unbreakable bond that lasts a lifetime.
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